Postcards [Text version]
[Editor's note-this is the text version of "Postcards", the latest entry in Issue 3 of Omakase Magazine. For the full experience, click here to see the postcards and hand-written text.]
To: 1298 Laurent St, Santa Cruz, CA 95060
Dear Mom,
I came down to this park yesterday when I needed some space from the cousins and Aunt Sal. I'm still not sure why you sent me here for the summer. There are so many loud relatives. You would like the swans here though, and hearing the bugs roar. I hope you're okay, and I figure out how to deal with the big easy.
Love, J
To: 1298 Laurent St, Santa Cruz, CA 95060
Dear Mom,
On our school trip we came down to "Campfire Bowl" and listened to a group of folk singers play. Random campers with instruments joined in. Remember when you tried to teach me the violin and I poked you in the eye and we laughed till we cried? I wish I had stuck with it so I could help make music. We're supposed to be "finding ourselves" but there are so many other people. I am making some friends though. Thanks for sneaking the smores supplies in my bag! They really helped.
Love, J
To: 1298 Laurent St, Santa Cruz, CA 95060
Dear Mom,
My roomates and I took a trip up to Niagra Falls last weekend to take a break from the city and studying. I didn't expect to be as impressed by them as I was. They were so loud, and powerful, and beautiful. They remind me of you. How have you been? Have you been here before? If not, come visit when you're feeling better and we can go. I miss you. And CA.
Love, J
To: 1298 Laurent St, Santa Cruz, CA 95060
Dear Mom,
I just couldn't take it. I know it wasn't the right thing for me to do, but I have just been driving. For days. I thought about turning around, but I needed to work through it for myself. I didn't have a specific direction, but I saw a sign for the Caverns and I remembered you talking about exploring caves when you were a kid. It was quiet and lonely and beautiful. I miss you and I'm coming home. We'll talk when I get there.
Love, J
Dear Mom,
I remember when you took me here as a kid and told me to always respect owls because they are wise and cunning. When I asked how they became wise, you said it's because they always ask questions, "Who? Who?" I have so many questions for you and no answers. The owls here didn't offer any wisdom, but I felt like they saw me and they understood. I watched another mother and daughter discussing the merits of owls, but this mother didn't give nearly as good an explanation. I cried the whole way home.
Love, J
Dear Mom,
It's been a long time since I wrote you a postcard, but I saw this at the store at the gift shop to get extra s'mores supplies and thought of you. Beautiful doesn't even begin to describe this place. Chris and I have been hiking around the park for a couple of days. We sit and read together while the sun sets over the lake. He makes me feel more whole than I have in a long time. You would like him. I miss you. All the time.
Love, J
Dear Mom,
Our honeymoon through Italy has been an absolute dream. We have eaten our weight in pasta and gelato, rode bikes to wineries, seen so many works of art that only existed in textbooks before, and laughed and loved. It will be hard to go back to the real world. Remember when you and I planned our trip to Greece and planned on meeting gorgeous Grecians who would cook us fresh fish and feed us olives. Chris says he could pretend to be Greek and throw olives at me when I least expect it. It's not quite the same, but it does make me smile.
Love, J
Dear Mom,
We were able to squeeze in one last trip before the baby arrives. We spent a lot of time talking about what we would do when Alice or Cody (depending) was old enough to join us and we could see the beauty of this place through their little eyes too. Chris is nervous about being like his own father, but I keep telling him that just by being here and wanting this little one, he is already better than both of our fathers. I don't know how you did this on your own. I feel so huge and ready and terrified and I just hope I can be half as brave and strong as you.
Love, J
Dear Mom,
I took the kids down for the summer to meet Aunt Sal and all the cousins. Alice looks so much like you. Most of the time I feel lucky to have a little piece of you back, but sometimes it hurts to see you in miniature. We talked about the time you sent me down here. I was so angry with you. Sal said you needed time to heal and didn't want me to watch you go through treatment. That it was too hard to tell me you were dying, because that would have made it real. I wish you would have told me. I wouldn't have wasted time being angry. When my kids are driving me crazy and Chris is working late and I'm facing a deadline and I want to scream, I stop and think of you and how precious time with family is. I keep writing because it feels like you're here. I love you.
J